you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
