I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
