sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
