How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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