i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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