Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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