I just saw a hot homeless man
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
