wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
