He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
