Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
