i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
