Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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