So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
