I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
