wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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