just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
