Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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