Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
