You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
