Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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