if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
