Pappa wants mamma naked
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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