oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
