Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I could fuck to npr.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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