OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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