3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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