That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
