Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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