8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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