nut hugger
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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