The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
