Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
