"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
