You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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