Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
