wrigley field is MILF paradise
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
