You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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