Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
