So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I touched a dick in church today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
