I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
