I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
