I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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