Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
