Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
