I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
