Your dad touched me again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
