i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
