i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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