I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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