If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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