worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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